I'm getting married this year, and here are ten things I won't do just because:
Lose weight for a dress
No way in hell will I subject myself to this kind of unnecessary pressure! Everyone knows perfectly well what I normally look like, my
partner loves and accepts me for who I am, and the time wasted on counting
calories will be better invested in finding an outfit that underlines my personality. And who says it has to be a dress I should be wearing in the first place? No need for white, either. (Although I will probably end up wearing off-white.) There's also the possibility of getting a second hand dress, if you're into vintage. Here in
Toronto there's a great charity called
The Brides' Project that resells used wedding dresses and donates all profits to cancer charities.
Have a hen night
Oh, the embarrassment! On average, a group of thirteen women spends their day learning
how to mix cocktails, lying around with pieces of cucumber on their faces or running
their fingers over some Chippendale's abs.
In the UK, the cost of
hen nights increased by about 50% from £102 to £157 per person in the past five years alone, with travel destinations becoming ever more exclusive: Las Vegas and Barcelona are the new Manchester and Bristol. And aside from the monetary cost, there seems to be a moral one, too; 43%
of British women (and 73% of British men) will lie to their partner about what happened
that night. The only way I could see myself
bidding farewell to my legally single life - that I won't be missing at
all - would be a night in with my friends of all genders. Why limit the
fun to my female friends?
Keep my last name just for the sake of it
Within 90 days of my wedding, I will legally change my surname to Oliver's. This is not because I want to become his property, but
because I like his name better than mine. Simple as that. If my name would have been cooler, he would have changed his. Since we
are a bi-national couple, I believe that sharing the same name will
simplify legal matters, especially when we are travelling. Should we
ever have kids, I want them, too, to have the same
name. However, I will never refer to myself as
"Mrs. Oliver Dawson-Clark". I am Annina. Annina Dawson-Clark for friends and family and before the law, and Annina Luzie Schmid for everyone else. I'm eager to continue publishing
under my maiden name, because this is how people have gotten to
know me, and because a pen name creates what I believe to be a healthy distance between your professional and private lives.
Have my dad walk me down the aisle
This is because the tradition of one man handing me over to another is crazy. I am my own woman. And there is a practical
problem, too: I have a biological father that I get along with
very well, and also a step dad that I get along with equally well. So,
if anything, they would have to walk on either side of me, with my mom and step moms somewhere
in the picture, too. Like
Jessica Valenti. She and her husband Andrew had both their parents walk them both down the aisle. If I did the same, I would have a procession of five just for myself. Pretty awesome, really.
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